


Of Reunited Hearts And Broken Smiles

by 46captain46



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: ??? - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Kind of Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Reincarnation, be nice, first multi chapter guys
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-13
Updated: 2018-01-13
Packaged: 2018-10-18 13:22:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10617759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/46captain46/pseuds/46captain46
Summary: Levi Ackerman decides to hire an assistant and waits for the hundreds of people that will be arriving once they hear.L. Rivaille Corp. is, after all, one of the biggest, and most popular companies there are. But, why does this mop of brown hair and these bright green eyes feel so familiar? Could it be? No, it must just be his imagination again.





	1. Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, hold-it-brat here. I love reincarnation AUs so I made my own. First attempt at multi chapter. Enjoy!  
> Disclaimer: Nope, don't own them. Just the plot.

Memories are a terrible thing, Levi had long ago decided. They took and took away and they caused pain greater than anyone could imagine, only giving emptiness and an all too familiar feeling of darkness in return.

He hated them. He hated them more than he could express, more than he had thought he could hate.

But he also cherished them. They were a part of him that he could never take back, a part of him long dead, a part of him he wasn’t sure if he wanted or not anymore.

The blood in them was so much more than he would have liked to admit, the screams that followed brutal battles too sharp, too real.

He can’t remember a night he hadn’t woken up screaming or to find his cheeks wet and his throat hoarse. He can’t say he remembers a night when pain from another time, another life, hadn’t caused his stomach to clench and his lips to form _his_ name over and over. Like a prayer.

This life is hard. He can’t decide if it’s harder than the other one, but he knows that loneliness will always follow him no matter the era.

Waking up is hard. Harder than it should be, harder with these memories, these screams, _these eyes_ , haunting his every move.

There are days that the feeling of loss becomes too much, days he can’t look at the mirror without wanting to break the glass just to see his reflection shutter in as many pieces he has.

These are the days his lips can’t form words and his throat feels too dry. He finds himself looking around in his all too big apartment and the walls feel like a cage. He falls asleep many hours later due to exhaustion and nothing else. He dreams of the past and of green and of wings of freedom. He dreams of an ocean and a bright smile and arms wrapping gently around him, shielding him from the whole world, shielding him from the darkest corners of his mind.

When he wakes up his hands tremble slightly and there’s no helping the tears that continue to come, accompanied with merciless waves of regret.

Hours pass. The previous tears are dry but new ones replace them.

And then there come the days he wakes up from a particular nightmare. Deep green eyes are looking up at him and a broken smile that has no right to be this way is aimed at him. Red stains white teeth and it trickles from soft lips in small delicate rivers. And then bright green turns dull, and hot flesh turns cold. Tanned skin turns slowly pale.

And the body he is clutching desperately in his arms is no longer alive, no longer able to move.

And death takes the most important thing in his life. And death takes him too not too long after, when he charges at monsters with a fury no one has ever seen before, and a sadness that goes so deep that has soaked his very soul in red.  

 _“I love you.”_ Echoes inside his head every day and he tries to drown it.

 _“I’m sorry.”_ Haunts him and he wants to scream at the skies and wants to hit something until his knuckles are broken and bleeding, much like the body itself that he never quite could let go of.

He wakes up with sweat glistening on his forehead and his breaths coming out short. He gets up in a swift move and goes to take a shower.  
  
It takes him longer to wash himself. The scrambling doesn't wash away the blood and he still feels dirty, filthy, and mistakes, he realizes, can't be undone. Promises of another time can't be kept. And he, cannot escape pain. Cannot escape loneliness.

He stays under the spray of the shower for what feels like hours. The water turns cold but he doesn't feel it. Not when his eyelids are bleeding with more images he wants nothing to do with, images that are everything and nothing to him all at once.

He wants to say that he hadn’t searched for him. He wants to say that his heart didn’t start beating faster every time he saw a mop of messy brown hair. He wants to say that his eyes didn’t search, almost desperately, for a pair of forest green ones that shine brighter than the sun.

He wants to lie and say he doesn’t miss him so much that it's killing him.

He gets out of the bathroom and puts on his clothes mechanically. The tea tastes like ash and an image of a slightly confused Eren, struggling to make Levi’s tea, pops in his mind. It’s a soft memory, a peaceful one. It’s precious and he doesn’t want it to slip away.

The days go by, and he continues living, but he has long ago figured out that he's simply not dead. No one could call him alive.

Work is not as bad as it could be and he tries to focus on it to keep his mind from going to places a little too dark and a little too broken.The company is actually his and there is too much going on, not to be able to keep him distracted. At least he has that much.

His stomach growls as he enters his office and remembers the coffee he didn’t get to have in the morning. He sits on his office chair and opens one of the files placed on his desk.

It’s only been a couple of minutes before a hyper-active Hanji bursts into his office, her voice a little too loud for his not-yet-fully-awake head.

“Shut up.” He grunts and starts rubbing his temples to prevent the already growing headache. That, of course doesn’t faze her at all and continues to sing song her way to him.

“So, I have a few more files for you. Oluo is sending them and says that something seems a little off and to check it out.” She says, dumping them on Levi’s office as the raven haired man is contemplating murder.

He heaves a sigh and is about to tell her to leave his office or something worse when she stops smiling altogether and looks at him.

“Levi?”

“What is it?” he growls, with his eyes spitting fire.

“It was one of those nights again, wasn’t it?” she asks and Levi sighs again.

“What do you think?” he replies and he really wants this conversation to be over.

“He died again, didn’t he?” that causes him to swallow thickly and try even harder to chase away the images. Hanji is the only one, besides him, who remembers anything, and that makes things a little more bearable. At least she knows him well enough to know when it’s too bad. 

“Just get out of my office, shitty glasses.” He says and she doesn’t protest, but leaves his office without another word. She knows how this particular dream affects him.

Levi slumps back in his chair and takes a deep breath.

Many of his employees are people he knew but none of them remembers anything. Still, it feels good not to be surrounded by complete strangers, he can work better this way. 

He can’t decide if it’s a good or a bad thing that they don’t remember. But as he thinks back to his sleepless nights, and the previous one in particular, he supposes they are lucky.

Shaking his head to get rid of these thoughts, he focuses his gaze on the papers in front of him that are filled with too many numbers. It has been going well lately if he’s being honest. The customers are happy with their products and new ideas are born every day, thus, the sales have reached a record point.

Work here is, in all honesty, pleasant. There is a sense of teamwork that’s difficult to find in a company as large as this one, and all of his employees are hard-working people that are dedicated to him and trust him. He appreciates them all and couldn’t have asked for better or more qualified staff.

“Sir?” 

He jumps at the voice and turns around to see Petra standing in front of his office with her arms full of folders.

“Yes, Petra?” He replies, returning to the receipts in front of him. Financially they are okay, but they are wasting too much plastic and that doesn’t only mean more money but the fact that all the things they are throwing away could be recycled.

 “You requested a meeting today, correct? For 11?” the red haired asks and Levi curses lightly under his breath. He glances at his watch and prays that he has at least an hour to prepare.

_10:38_

22 minutes. He can work with that.

He nods curtly at Petra and she leaves his office, closing the door behind her. He heaves another sigh and rises from his chair. A coffee is definitely what he needs right now. It’ll be the only thing keeping him going for the rest of the day so he might as well go buy it before the meeting starts.

Fuck, it’s bound to be a long month.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the end of the first chapter!! Please let me know what you think!  
> Bye for now~


	2. Announcement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next one guys!! Sorry it took me longer than expected. As always none of the characters belong to me.  
> Enjoy!!

The meeting went fairly well and he thinks that maybe they can realize at least two of the suggested improvements in the products within the next month.

It is now around 10pm so most of the employees have already gone home and it’s pretty much only Hanji that’s eating his ears off about the ‘really awesome’ anatomy class she has been attending for the past two days.

Levi just rolls his eyes for what seems like the 13th time in an hour.

The coffee sure helped keep him awake but he hates how the damned thing tastes and he is yearning for a cup of his favorite black tea back in his house. There’s also this book that has been in his to-be-read list for a few days now.

He can’t help but wish that he also had a brat waiting for him at home, with his bright green eyes and innocent smile-

He shakes his head as he feels a stabbing pain in his chest. This is surely not the time for memories to strike. And definitely not the place. He takes a deep breath and keeps walking towards his office, Hanji still talking non sense and creating a headache.

A few more minutes and he will be free of her endless talking. It was an exhausting day and he longs to just get under his covers and sleep. He just hopes that no nightmares will haunt him today. Maybe his body will be too warn out and he will be able to pass out.

He hates his mind. Maybe as much as he hates the memories and the pain that accompanies them.

He drowns himself into Hanji’s blubbering and tries to forget about his need for sleep. He used to nod to show that he’s listening but somewhere in the way he gave up. He sighs once again.

“Hanji, go home.” He says and is ready to start hitting his head against the fucking wall if he hears another word about human anatomy. The brunet notices and lets out a boisterous laugh before she opens the door and exits his office.

“Goodnight Levi-o!” she singsongs as she walks away and Levi’s eye twitches - and considers murdering her but decides against it - before he breathes a sigh of relief. His head feels ready to explode. At least now it’s quiet.

Locking his office and setting the security alarm, Levi exits the building and heads towards his car. He gets in as soon as he reaches it and turns it on. His shoulders slump as he starts driving and he is really craving a hot long bath too.

It’s a good thing he doesn’t live but half an hour away from his office, otherwise, he would have either flipped or fallen asleep while driving. Both seem extremely possible but the second one more terrifying.

The streets are full at this time of the night but he manages to get home pretty quickly considering the circumstances.

Once he gets home he’s ready to pretty much sleep the whole week off. He slowly unties his shoelaces and places his shoes on the floor right beside the door. Bare footed now, he makes his way towards the kitchen to boil the water for his tea. 

He waits as the heat causes small bubbles to appear on the water and then pours the hot drink in his cup. It’s all black and he still has no idea how Hanji managed to find it.

He then heads towards the bathroom to prepare the water there for his bath, until the tea cools off a bit so that it won’t burn his tongue once he tries to take sip.

When everything is ready, he undresses himself and tosses the clothes in the laundry basket. He slowly gets in the bathtub and a content sigh leaves his lips as the warmth engulfs him. That kind of pleasant warmth always reminds him of another time but he tries not to dwell on that. It’s enough that nightmares plague his sleep, he doesn’t need the pain when he’s awake too.

He never really had a say in the matter though.

He closes his eyes and lets his mind wander just this once. Images come to paint it and a pair of green eyes that seems to be able to take his breath away. He basks in the serenity the gaze brings and doesn’t open his eyes again until minutes pass.

And it’s only then that he realizes his cheeks are dump from tears.

Swallowing thickly, he wipes his tears almost angrily, and gets out of the bathroom, tea now cold and forgotten.

He puts on a shirt and sweatpants and sits on his bed. He doesn’t know if he’s ready for sleep yet. Or, more importantly, for the things he will see after his eyes close.

It doesn’t matter though because mere seconds later he’s out like a light, off into a dreamless sleep; the only way overworking has ever helped him.

Darkness plagues his dreams and no horror stains his heart.

When he wakes up in the morning it’s not as bad as it could be and he feels a little lighter. He eats his cereal and drinks his tea and heads off to work again.

“Morning Petra.” He tells the red haired woman once he enters the building as he sees her waiting for him to start the day. Petra just greets him back with a sweet smile on her face.

“Good morning Mister Ackerman. Here are the reports you asked for in yesterday’s meeting.” She says, handing him about half a dozen of files.

“And here is the charts you told me to hand to you regarding the last three months and also our expenses and income.” She continues, showing him the number-filled papers she is holding.

She then places the documents on his office as they enter it and quickly goes to bring him his coffee.

Levi frowns. He appreciates Petra for being so hard working but there’s not enough concealer in the world to cover the dark circles under her eyes. The work is simply too much for just one person.

 _Hmm_ , he muses, _maybe I should hire another assistant._

And that’s how the building ends up with an announcement on its door, offering the job.

Petra at first tells him that it’s fine but he can see how relieved she looks when Levi puts up the announcement.

Now they just have to wait for the hundreds of people that will be arriving once they hear. L. Rivaille Corp. is, after all, one of the biggest and most popular companies there are.

He’s kind of dreading it if he’s being honest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it! Tell me what you think of this one! I shall see you all next week!  
> Byeeee~


	3. Interviews

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so so sorry I've been absent for about a month. Finals were killing me (still are) but today I finally found some time to write this! Enjoy!

He is absolutely positive that if he sees another dumbass trying to get interviewed he is going to kill someone with his bare hands.

That one was number 135 and while he was qualified to some extent, the guy didn’t have the boldness or even the confidence the job needed, and most importantly, the experience.

So five hours have passed since the whole ordeal started and he is still right where he started.

A splitting headache is keeping him company now though.

Joy.

He’s pondering telling Petra to interview them when a guy with 17 piercings on his face shows up, in jeans and holding a cup of coffee from Starbucks.  

The glare Levi sends him has him backing away from the door before he even reaches it. Yep, Petra is definitely more suitable for this. Rubbing his temples he falls back on his chair and takes a deep breath. He’s already exhausted, and as he glances at the clock he realizes, it’s not even time for lunch break yet, meaning, people will keep coming for at least two more hours until the interviews are over for the day.

Letting out a groan, he gets up. More coffee it is then.

When it’s finally time for lunch he lets out a sigh and gets up from the godforsaken office chair. The whole ordeal is draining both him and his patience, and that’s really not good. This thing doesn’t seem to lead anywhere and he’s starting to lose hope.

The worst part is that, because Petra agreed to take care of the interviews from now on - if she hadn’t he would have strangled someone for sure in the next hour- Hanji will be his assistant for the week.

God have mercy on him. What did he do to deserve this?

 _‘Always so melodramatic.’_ Comes Eren’s voice in his head.

 _‘Shut up, brat.’_ He would usually answer but all he could manage was make Eren laugh. Which was never a negative result, really.

The memory brings a small smile on his face and the day becomes a little more bearable.

Maybe there is still a chance that they might find someone for the job. After all, so many people are waiting in the line. One of them _has_ to do.

Petra agrees and that’s how he escapes the torture. That’s why he is now sitting in his office, slowly drinking his coffee. It’s quiet and he really appreciates that.

But of course it’s Hanji that has to ruin it. He will burn her alive one day.

 _‘That’s a little too harsh, don’t you think?’_ that’s what he would always say, a small smirk on his face, his green eyes laughing.

 _‘She deserves it.’_ He would reply but the anger would be long gone. He still remembers his eyes, he hopes he always will.

“Helloooo!” Hanji barges in the office and yeah, definitely death.

“I fucking abhor you.” He hisses and she just laughs, closing the door behind her.

“I brought you some files Petra looked over. They have numbers in them.”

Levi just gives her a ‘fuck-off’ look before taking the files and opening them. The papers in them sure are many. After examining them for a little longer he looks up again only to find this god forsaken woman looming over him like she’s death, ready to take him.

He blinks. Once, twice. Her face is still too close.

“Go bother someone else. I have work to do.” He tells her eventually and she just grins and sing-songs her way out.

“Okey dokie!”

Levi just shakes his head and tries to concentrate on the work in front of him. He can’t help but wonder how the interviews are going though. He won’t survive with Hanji as his assistant, that’s for sure. And he doesn’t really want to go to prison for strangling a human being.

Can she even be considered human?

He just sighs again and tries to focus on the papers in front of him.

* * *

Petra on the other hand is drowning in work. So many people have been interviewed and so many more want to and it’s a heavy burden to carry by herself.

And that’s exactly one of the reasons Levi needs a second assistant. She’s draining herself and that person would help a lot.

But they have to be found first.

The red-haired woman takes another sip from her – now cold – coffee as she looks at the list of names. It seems endless. And she’s starting to grow tired. Four days have passed since her boss told her to be the one to take care of this.

Today is the last day and she’s losing hope. Maybe it’s just not meant to be. She’ll just have to deal with it.

Two more hours left and about 10 more interviews to go. At least, she thinks, now she will be free of the task. 

Number three hundred and something that she doesn’t care to remember at this point was the guy with the high school degree that probably knew about logistics just as much as she knew about astrophysics. Basically nothing.

So her patience was running low really quickly.

She sighs once again and gets up. If she’s going to survive the next couple of hours, she’s gonna need caffeine. Lots of it.

Probably food too, she decides as her stomach lets out a growl. She makes her way towards the bakery that’s just a few feet away from the building and as the air hits her face and ruffles her hair, she feels a little better. These weeks have been hectic alright.

When she returns to her spot, she is ready for the last people to come in. She no longer thinks they will find anyone and is already preparing herself for it but there’s still a glimmer of hope.

That fades too though, as time passes and she grows ever more restless. Luck probably hates her.

With a sigh, she puts on her sweet smile and the boy walks in.

He is tall but not too much and he wears glasses. He fidgets as he takes the seat.

She already knows this one won’t do. As mister Ackerman always says, confidence is really important for the job.

“Thank you, mister Kirschtein,” she says, smiling at him as the interview comes to an end. “we’ll contact you to let you know if you got the job.”

The young man nods and smiles awkwardly back at her as he thanks her and gets up, hurriedly exiting the building.

That was the last one, she realizes and her shoulders drop. She reaches for her coffee and takes a few sips. As she lowers it to her lap she realizes that it’s time to go back to her duties as the assistant.

A sigh leaves her lips as she stands up and starts moving towards mister Ackerman’s office.

Noise brings her out of her thoughts though and she turns around to see what the big commotion is about.

Apparently, a man is trying to get past the bodyguards and he’s fighting tooth and nail for it too.

Petra frowns and proceeds towards them.

“What’s the matter, gentlemen?” she asks them and they turn around to face her.

“He says he came here for the interview and we already told him that they are over but he won’t listen to us, ma’am.” One of them says and her eyes fall on the boy in front of her. His composure speaks of determination and his eyes spit fire the way she hasn’t seen before.

“Let him.” she says after a bit and even though shocked, the bodyguards release him.

“Thank you.” The boy says as she leads him to her office. Once they are inside, he extends his hand and smiles brightly at her.

“I’m Eren Jaeger ma’am. I really hope I’m suitable for this job.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me if you liked it! I love to read your thoughts on my works.  
> Welp, bye for now and know that next week exams will be over so there will be more regular updates!


	4. Eren

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, remember when I said 'regular updates'? Yeah. I'm really sorry. Summer extra classes then stuff kinda happened, plus I had a writer's block for this story for about a month.  
> Really fucking sweet in general.  
> Anyway, this is a little different than the others and you'll see why. I hope you like it!

"Petra Ral. Take a seat.” Petra smiles and gestures at the navy blue Lawson chair facing her office desk. He nods and does as she says taking a deep breath. “Well then, shall we begin?”

As the interview drags on, Eren realizes that he may as well have a chance. Petra smiles politely at him and he feels a pang in his heart as he is brutally reminded of the last time he saw her.

The blood, the red, unforgiving liquid has been burnt into his eyes, his very soul.

It can never be cleansed. He knows, and yet, he sometimes wishes he could forget. And sometimes he cherishes the memories more than any gold.

He shakes his head lightly, not too much as to be noticeable, but enough to stop his thoughts from wandering any further, and he focuses back on the red-haired woman in front of him. The woman who is very much alive.

Alive and currently asking him a question. Her eyebrows are furrowed as she studies him.

“Mr. Jaeger?” his eyes widen slightly and he smiles back at her.

“I’m sorry, I was just wondering if you are the one I’ll be working for, if I get the job.” He replies, adding the last part a little warily. Nobody likes an overconfident brat.

It’s not a lie, per se, mostly because he’s genuinely curious about his boss to be.

“Well, Eren – I can call you Eren, right?”

“Of course.” A small nod.

“Well, lucky for you, you won’t have to worry about getting the job.” She says and he lowers his head, nodding solemnly.

“I understand.” He says and gets up, extending his hand to shake it with Petra’s own. “Thank you for your time.” The older woman takes it shaking her head, amusement swimming in her eyes and a small smile playing on her lips.  

“Congratulations, Eren. I’ll be expecting you tomorrow first thing in the morning.”

Eren’s head snaps up then and he can feel his own smile grow. He shakes her hand firmly, albeit a little more than a little frantically, in return, nodding enthusiastically.

“Thank you! I won’t disappoint you!” he says as hthee makes his way towards the exit with Petra by his side, guiding him towards it.

“I expect nothing else, young man. Be here at 7 am. We’ll discuss matters further then.”

“Yes, ma’am!” He nods and leaves the building, his smile never fading as he dials his sister’s number. Mikasa will be ecstatic, he knows it. He has been going to countless interviews for the past year and finally he got the job!

“I got the job!” he screams and he’s pretty sure he damaged her ear permanently but she laughs full of glee so he thinks it’s okay.

“Congrats! I told you this time you would!” he just laughs in return.

“You didn’t threaten anyone, did you?” he asks jokingly but he wouldn’t really put it past her.

“Nah, not this time.”

“Good. So, meet me at Café Sina in a couple of hours to celebrate? My treat.”

“Definitely. Me and Armin, right?”

“Yep.”

“Awesome, see you then Eren. Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

He hangs up and makes his way towards the house. He wants to take a shower and eat something before meeting them.

As he enters the bathroom and strips off his clothes the smile slowly fades from his lips. He showers quickly, rubbing harshly his skin, as if he’s trying to clean it from his past mistakes, the wrong choices, the wrong calls. As if he’s trying to rid it of all the blood that seems to always stain it.

Soap, of course, doesn’t help but he still tries, maybe he always will.

As much as he tries not to let his mind wander too far, Petra’s lifeless eyes stare back at him as he gets out of the bathroom and starts to get dressed. It’s been this way for a while now, memories attacking him, nightmares haunting him and screams piercing his sanity little by little.

He found out the hard way that the only way to have a slimmer of peace in his constantly racing mind is to let the images come, let them soak him to the bone, remind him of all that he lost and everything he could have done right but didn’t.

The only thing he can do to escape the pain is ignore it. It doesn’t ever go away, but it feels a little easier to breathe.  

The days he gasps for air and never finds it are the worst though. When he wakes up from another nightmare involving a raven haired man. Blue-grey eyes pierce his heart and he can feel his heart twist and his breath catch as the gaze softens and a tiny smile appears on his lips.

Until the smile disappears and he is left screaming a name that burns his heart.

He puts on his clothes on autopilot and leans against the wall once he’s done, trying to calm down his breathing. He had hoped that Petra would show a sign of recognition but it never came and it kind of hurt. He has no one to talk to, no one to share these dreams, these _memories_ that drown him and it gets harder every day.

He had hoped when he met Mikasa and Armin in kindergarten too but it quickly faded away as the years passed and his friends showed no indication that they remembered even a little their previous life.

Quite frankly, at first Eren had though he was crazy, driven mad by his sick mind. But everything quickly fell into place when he got his hands on a history text book in the middle of junior high school, drinking in the words explaining what his nightmares were about.

Reincarnation had never seemed possible but Eren had started considering it then.

If he’s being honest, it was quite the burden but he managed to control his vivid dreams and hide them from the world. He’s in a good place now. He graduated and later on got his degree in Economics and Business Management and was in search for a job.

Desperate search.

He had been looking for some place to work for about a year, going to interview after interview but to no avail.

Armin was actually the one who had set him up for this interview in the first place and he still can’t believe that he got the job. He makes a mental note to thank his friend when he meets him later.

Slowly, he gets off the wall and heads towards the kitchen. His fridge, he notes as he opens the metallic door, is almost empty which means that he will have to go grocery shopping on his way back. Sighing lightly, his eyes search for something edible in there when they land on a box of leftover pizza from last night.

“Ha!” he exclaims grinning.

Taking the box out, he sits on the chair and places it on the table. He takes the first slice and wolfs it down, not bothering to heat it up.  The other two slices follow suit and it doesn’t take more than ten minutes for him to get up, stomach fuller, and toss the box in the trash can.

After he washes his hands and runs his fingers through his hair to fix it slightly, he grabs his wallet and keys and he’s out of the apartment, locking the door behind him.

Café Sina isn’t actually that far away and if he takes the bus, it will most likely take him less than fifteen minutes. Deciding it’s no use walking, he waits for it.

It’s a nice day out. People are walking around, their light chatter filling the air and the sun is up and shining, no cloud in sight. Taking in a deep breath, Eren closes his eyes and lets the gentle breeze take away his worries and whisper lightly in his ears.

It doesn’t take long for the bus to come and as he gets inside he takes out his earphones, plugging them in his ears and shutting the rest of the world out.

He has always liked music. The way it takes unexpected turns and causes countless emotions to swirl inside your heart and warm your soul, the protective bubble it creates around you, making you feel safe.

In the darkest times of his childhood, when the dreams were too many and too horrifying for a mere child, music had been his only solace. It could calm him down, drown him in faceless melodies and soft tunes, could make him travel across constellations and universes without the fear of humanoid monsters threatening to tear apart everything he loved.

It still helps. And he loves it.

Looking around he realizes this is his stop so he takes out the one earphone and gets off the bus. Once his feet are on the pavement he starts walking towards the café. It takes a couple of minutes to finally reach it and he sees his friends already there, waving at him.

“Hey Eren!” Armin greets him smiling as he approaches them.

“Hey guys.” He smiles back and he takes out the other earphone, unplugging them from his phone as Mikasa gives him a quick hug.

“So Mikasa told me you got news! Come on, spill!” Eren just grins at him and he starts rubbing his chin pretending to think about it for a while.

“Oh I don’t know-”

“Come on you dimwit!”

Eren laughs and drops the act. “I got the job!” he shouts and Armin then smiles and his eyes light up.

“You got the job!” he yells back. “Congrats Eren! I knew you could do it!” he says, pulling Eren for a hug.

“Thanks.” The green eyed man hugs him back and can’t keep the smile off his face as he looks at them, happy and smiling and celebrating for him.

“When do you start?” Mikasa asks.

“Tomorrow morning.” He answers, thinking that he should probably go to sleep a little earlier than usual.

“That’s great!” Armin cheers and Eren finds himself nodding, grin still intact. They make their way into the café and sit on the table in the corner by the window. It’s Eren’s favorite spot after all.

“What did you eat?” Mikasa asks after they have settled and given their order. She will never understand how he likes his coffee so sugary but he won’t switch it to her black coffee hell anytime soon so he just laughs at her annoyed murmurs.

“Leftover pizza.” He replies grinning.

“I swear, that infatuation of yours with pizza is extremely unhealthy.” She grumbles, although he knows when there’s fondness in her eyes, and he takes a step back, placing his hand on his chest dramatically.

“Excuse you!” he says, pretending to be offended. “Pizza is religion!”

In short, it takes the three at least an hour to argue over that but Eren’s stubbornness eventually wins. It’s not a surprise, really.

They laugh and tease each other and he’s happy that they are happy and together like this.

He likes this life. His friends. But he can’t help but wish he didn’t feel so alone in a crowded world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it! I hope you enjoyed it! See ya in the next chapter!


	5. Eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That one only took a month and something. I'm really sorry guys, school has started, I'm already drowning. The updates will take one to two months from now on till I'm done. Also, just a head's up, there may be no updates at April, May and June due to exams.   
> Now, without further ado, I present you...the chapter. (Hope y'all like it)

Some days the world around him feels too much. A little too small, too bloodied. Too peaceful.

But also so loud.

He doesn’t want to leave the bed on those days. He doesn’t feel like getting up, like living. Faces, memories, the death that plagued his heart continues to haunt him and sometimes it’s too much.

He opens his eyes. Green meets the pale yellow of his ceiling as the sunrays caress his skin. He blinks a couple of times and his fingers come up to his face to wipe the fallen tears.

He cherishes the memories. It’s a burden he will have to carry for the rest of his lives, a burden he’s always carried. But he deserves it, he carried everyone’s lives then and he continues to do so now.

He can remember everything. In every breath he takes, every little thing his eyes land on.  The smell of death in the air, the blood on his lips and the desperate screams piercing his ears. The maddening smiles of the Titans as they spilled even more blood, as they tore apart everything he knew, everything he loved haunted his dreams, bled into his eyes.

More tears roll down the sides of his face. The small rivers slowly dry on his skin but they are not enough, not nearly enough for all the pain that has taken residence in his heart.

He closes his eyes again. It’s exhausting.

As he breathes he begins to feel other things than the sharp desperation and a centuries’ deep ache. He can feel the sun kissing his face, can hear the air as it whistles softly and a new day awakens. A smile makes its way into his lips. It’s a different day, a new beginning. In a world where beginnings are possible, where you have a reason to smile.

No world is ideal but this one? This one is full of possibilities, full of promises and dreams.

Eren kicks off the sheets and gets up, looking at the clock sitting on his nightstand.

6:12 am. He has about half an hour to get ready. It’s plenty. He walks barefooted towards his large window and opens it, letting the morning air wash the room and he takes a deep breath, his smile growing.

The sun is rising behind the city, glorious and warm, bathing the town below in rich tones of orange, yellow and red and the sky is a breathtaking symphony of orange, blue and purple, mixed so perfectly he has to sit there for a bit and wonder if it’s real.

It takes him a few minutes to tear his gaze away from the view, as always, and he backs away from it, turning around and making his way towards the bathroom.

Once he’s clean and as awake as he can get, he puts on his favorite shirt and a good pair of pants. He takes his keys and phone and he’s out of the door in zero time. He checks the time again. He has to make a good impression after all.

6.38 am.

Good. He has enough time to grab a cupcake from the bakery near his work. His empty stomach is protesting after all.

The bakery actually looks fairly new, the colors friendly and vibrant and the atmosphere is warm and welcoming. Taking a quick look around, his eyes fall upon their cupcakes – and yes, he has an unhealthy obsession with them too, but he doesn’t care – and the chocolate one with the strawberry on top of it catches his eyes.

He feels the urge to tell his stomach to shut up as it growls softly. Instead, he turns to greet the girl behind the counter.

“Good morning!”

She smiles and he gets reminded of how much he’s missed Sasha, his friends.  “Good morning!” she replies enthusiastically “How can I help you, sir?”

Shaking his head after the small shock of hearing her voice, he points at the glorious cupcake behind the glass. “I’ll take that cupcake, please.”

“Damn, and I was saving it.” She teases. It makes a small chuckle bubble in his chest.

“Well, too late. You probably should have hidden it.” And she would have, were the circumstances different. But now, here, she doesn’t have to, none of them do and that makes him feel a little lighter.

She hands him the small cake and he pays her. “Thank you.”

“Come back soon!” she says and he smiles again.

“I’ll make sure to.” The bell rings softly and he’s out on the street again. He sees a bench and he decides to eat his breakfast there, before going to work. It will also give him a clear view of the sky that has now turned blue-gray.

And that particular tone has always been his favorite color.

He sighs and goes to sit down. People have already gotten out of their houses and are walking around in a frenzy. If only they knew how lucky they are.

He eats his cupcake and admires the sky as the familiar pair of eyes appears in his memory.

* * *

 

There’s a knock on his office door and he doesn’t look up as he murmurs a “Come in.” Petra enters the office and smiles at him.

“Yes?”

“I found a really promising young man for the position!” she tells him delighted and he gives a solemn nod.

“That’s very good Petra. You’ll show him around today?” her face turns a little more serious, realizing she’s still at work, but a small smile lingers.

“That’s the plan, sir.”

“Excellent. Can you take these papers to Oluo for me?” he says, gesturing to a small pile on his right, before he goes back to scribbling notes on a page and scowling at it.

“Yes, of course!” the red-haired woman takes them in her arms and she’s out of his office. Not before leaving a small comment though. She turns slightly and stops the door with her shoulder. “Oh, and his eyes are unreal.” She says excitedly. “The prettiest green I’ve ever seen.”  

She lets the door fall closed and Levi can’t breathe for a second. A pair of eyes he desperately misses appears in front of him. He is sure his mind has forgotten how green they really are, how beautiful they look.

He knows his mind won’t ever do them justice.

Levi still doesn’t quite understand the power that boy has over him, even when he’s not with him, even when he might not even exist in the current world. It’s kind of cruel when he thinks about it.

He blinks. An unnoticed tiny tear falls as he does and the enchanting gaze slowly fades away.

* * *

 

It’s two minutes to seven when Eren enters the building. He smiles as he spots Petra on the other side of the huge reception, just outside of the office the two talked yesterday. As he makes his way to her he notes that the building emits a sense of rough elegance, the kind of power that lets you know who’s in charge, but in return makes you feel strong too.  

He smiles a little to himself this time. There’s only one person that could make you feel this way. _God, how much he misses him._

He shakes lightly his head and takes in his surroundings. The walls are painted green and white, a kind of strange combination for a company that looks as wealthy and important as this one but it looks good, it feels familiar. He feels at peace just by that and he thinks that he may be able to fit in here.

“Good morning Eren.” Petra greets him.

“Good morning Miss Ral.” She smiles and claps her hands together.

“Well, it is my job to show you around for a bit. I’ll also take you to meet your actual boss after we’re done with our little tour. Sound alright?” she asks as she starts walking, glancing briefly behind her to look at the brunet.

“Perfect, ma’am.”  Eren nods and follows her.

Turns out, the building is even bigger than he had originally thought. People are everywhere, walking around a bit frantically and the whole place speaks of professionalism. It’s kind of refreshing.

Some people smile at him as Petra introduces him and it’s overall pretty decent. He’s already looking forward to working for them.

“So, Eren, you will be the boss’ second assistant. I’m his first but given how much work it was, we needed another person.”

Eren nods solemnly and she smiles again. “Don’t freak out if he’s really straight forward or seems angry. That’s just how he is.” she warns him gently as they reach a big glass door which, Eren presumes, is the man’s office.

She turns to face him this time. “Well, welcome to Rivaille Co.”

His eyes widen and his mouth barely catches up. “The wha-” he doesn’t manage to finish his sentence as the door opens then to reveal-

Hanji. His heart starts beating faster.

Her eyes are as wider than saucers. Eren’s own slightly tear up and he swallows down whatever stupid comment he was about to make.

She seems to regain her composure fairly quickly though and she smiles at him, all teeth. He can feel his own lips turn up slightly in return. He had missed the crazy woman. If the circumstances were different, he might have even hugged her.

“So you’re the new assistant?” she asks, and he nods, his mind still racing. Maybe she doesn’t remember him. She doesn’t show any actual sign of recognition so it’s only logical to assume she doesn’t remember. It’s probably better this way. Nobody needs to remember such a life.

“I- yes, it’s a pleasure to work for you.” She huffs a laugh and takes his extended hand. “You’re good, kid.” She mutters and before he has time to process what she meant, he hears another voice.

“Oi, shitty glasses, care to step aside?”

His heart skips a beat. He knows that voice. He has dreamt that voice for as long as he can remember. He has known it for centuries and he can still remember all the times it lulled him to sleep, all the times it spoke his name, all the times he heard the three small words that mean the world to him.

He has missed it so terribly much.

So he can’t believe it. He doesn’t dare hope, he doesn’t dare think he has a chance.

It can’t be.

The man behind Hanji appears then and Eren freezes as their eyes meet. A tear is ready to escape but he holds it back. Now is not the time.

The grey gaze looks back at him and all Eren can think is _‘I missed you’_.

And all he can do is try to swallow the lump in his throat as he takes in his appearance. Everything is a mess inside his head. Memories and emotions hit him like a tsunami and he can barely breathe, he can barely think.

And his mind can’t help but whisper that one word he hadn’t allowed himself to remember.

_Levi._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woop! Cliffhanger! So how was it? Drop a comment, maybe?   
> Till next time guys!


	6. Remember?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I am seriously so terribly sorry that I've practically disappeared but this is an extremely difficult year for me and I have so many things to do and study and the exams are endless. So please, bear with me, I promise that I'm in no way abandoning this story, I just need a lot more time to write the chapters now, simply because all my 'free time' has become studying time.   
> So, without further ado, here is the 6th chapter, which is actually longer than any of the others. Not by much, but it is. I hope you like it!

He had thought so many times of what he would do when they finally met. He had come up with countless scenarios, had imagined every possible moment. The thought would interrupt whatever he was doing just to haunt him. In the end, he had just hoped for another chance.

Now he hears his voice and Hanji steps aside. Breathing becomes difficult and a knot forms where his stomach is supposed to be. The first thing Levi’s eyes search is the green. He has become so desperate over the years and there’s still disbelief clouding his mind.

Because hope has a tendency of crashing you.

Always had a tendency of crashing _him_.

But their eyes meet and Levi tries to suck in the air that isn’t there. The green, though, is there. His eyes are more beautiful than any interpretation his imagination could ever make.

That green is not fake, that green is not fading, that green is _there_. Alive. Shining. Levi feels like he’s falling but his legs haven’t given out yet. Flashes come alive behind his eyes. Of stolen kisses and green capes. Warm, peaceful afternoons and hot cups of tea from calloused, gentle hands. Red and green and a soothing blue engulfs his mind as he loses himself once again, drowning in his eyes like what truly is centuries ago.

Eren as a whole looks older, a little more mature perhaps but there’s no mistaking the curiosity his expression betrays and his open heart that he still wears on his sleeve.

A cough interrupts the silent reunion and Levi’s eyes reluctantly leave Eren to look at Petra who appears to be more confused than ever.

He shakes his head lightly and tries to compose himself as he moves forward, extending his hand; a silent invitation.

From the corner of his eye, he can still see the shocked expression on his assistant’s face. Everybody knows how he feels about handshakes and physical contact in general (it’s more than just his obsession with cleanness but he doesn’t need to tell her that). It would be kind of hilarious if Eren wasn’t taking his hand to shake.

Soft. His hands are soft. As he looks a little longer he can see that more than a little of what he hides behind his eyes isn’t.

They shake hands for a few seconds but Levi is not yet ready to move away, he is not ready to let him go again. Even if this isn’t their world, even if he won’t disappear, even if Eren is not his.

He takes back his hand though and addresses the man in front of him.

“Eren Jaeger I presume?” the younger man blinks rapidly and quickly nods his head.

“Yes, sir.” And Levi is sure that a three-letter word shouldn’t hold so much weight. He wants to ask, he needs to know if he remembers. “It’s an honor to meet you.” Levi isn’t sure if he wants him to though.

“Don’t disappoint me, Jaeger.” He says instead.

“Never.” It feels like a punch in the gut.

His head is spinning and Levi can think of countless times the world has disappointed him, but Eren…never Eren. Levi steps back and dismisses them with a wave of his hand and a murmur of “I’ve got work to do”. He searches for a spark of recognition but he never sees it. There wasn’t one there in the first place.  

Only one thing appears in his mind; Eren doesn’t remember.

_He doesn’t remember._

His heart sinks. He knows he should have expected it. He knows it’s only logical when the only ones that remember are Hanji and himself. Still, the hope circling his heart and feeding on his dreams pushed him to believe.

He distantly hears the door close as he finally falls to his knees. His hands come up to grip tightly his hair as he lets out a soundless scream. There’s pain in his heart, the kind that’s been there from the start, the kind that’s never left him.

The white floor beneath him transforms into a hideous blackish red and its slick surface turns into flesh. Bodies and bodies pile up in front of him and among the dead, he sees his face. Eyes only half closed and grey, his mouth open as if gasping for air, as if ready to scream his rage into the skies.

(he knows that’s not how he died, knows he never got to say his final goodbye but right now he’s too deep into this darkness to make sense of everything)

The anger, the desperation is clear and Levi feels the impact of his death hit him full force.

He can’t breathe again. He can’t stop shaking and he may feel hands trying to bring him back but for the moment he is too far lost in his own mind to recognize Hanji’s voice, to accept this new world he was mercilessly thrown into. 

_He’s fine, he just needs to regulate his breathing. He’s fine, he’s fine, he’s fin-_

“Levi!” Hanji finally manages to bring him back. He blinks and everything comes slowly back to focus. He takes in the white walls of his office, the windows shielding them from the cold outside. Winter had been late this year but it’s already the second week of January so he welcomes it.

Her worried eyes scan his face and after she’s satisfied with whatever she sees there, she moves a little away. She lets him just breathe for a while. Taking in the air, he feels the fog in his mind clear a bit. He can admit that it’s been months since the last time something similar happened.

“Are you alright?” she asks after a while and all he can do is blink rapidly and shake his head desperately. He doesn’t know. Is he alright? He just witnessed everything he’s missed and everything he’s loved.

No, he’s not alright.

“No.” he replies quietly and no more words are exchanged after that. For what must be the first time in her life, Hanji doesn’t speak or interrupt his thoughts. She says still, patiently waiting for him to compose himself.

It takes a while. But then Levi rises from the floor and nothing in his face betrays what he just went through. That’s the way it has always been. Levi against the world and he just keeps rising. He’s begun to wonder for how long he will continue to.

It’s then that Hanji decides to open her mouth.

“Not a word.” He cuts her off before anything can come out. “We’re not talking about this.”

“Oh come on Levi, how can we not talk about it?” she asks, exasperated. “Eren just fucking appeared and you’re pale as death. You have to talk to him.” Levi turns his head away from her. He knows he wants to, but he’s not going to ruin Eren’s fucking life just because he’s needy. He shakes his head.

“Levi! You know you lov-” he grits his teeth.

“No.” his hand has come up to grip the edge of the office desk tightly and his knuckles are turning white.

She takes a step closer. “You can’t-”

“I can and I fucking will.” He snaps. “You know everything I go through because of these memories. You can see it.” He hisses. “Why would I wish it to anyone, much less him?”

She frowns but doesn’t move further. “Of course I know. But I also know that you are lonely and miserable as shit without him.” she shoots back, daring him to deny it. “You’ve been suffering for so long and now that he’s so close you’re not even going to do something about it! You can’t just-”

“I said no!” he shouts, silencing her. His eyes spit fire as he gets out his next words but he doesn’t care. “I don’t want him remembering a life he was called a monster and a life in which he died protecting those who did.” He sits back down in his chair and leans back, his gaze falling on the window opposite of him. Rain has started falling, the droplets lightly tapping on the glass. Taking a deep breath he continues.

“I just… don’t want to burden him any further. He has been through enough. He has done _enough_. He deserves to be happy.”

“But so do you.” She argues back. “Don’t you understand that by keeping this from him you’ll end up hurting both of you?”

“He’ll be fine, Hanji. He doesn’t need me anyway.” He swallows in an attempt to calm down his heart beating painfully against his chest. “I’ll just remind him of all that he lost.”

“Levi-”

“No.” he repeats angrily and points at the door, rising from his chair. “Out.”

Hanji looks like she is going to argue for a moment but then she just takes a deep breath and turns around to walk towards the door. “I just hope you won’t regret it.” She mutters as she closes it behind her. 

As soon as she’s exited his office, Levi lets out a breath and hangs his head.

* * *

Eren’s heart is pounding like crazy. The door closes in his face but he is left staring at it, almost bearing holes on the glass. His eyes were the same, his mind provides; blue-grey and piercing as ever. He had felt himself getting lost in that frozen sea, the world around him starting to fade away as if it was a dream.

Have his lungs always felt like they’re on fire?

“Eren?” Petra interrupts his thoughts and he looks at her, shooting a small, reassuring smile at her.

“We should probably get going, right?”

She nods and shoots him a perplexed look but goes back to showing him around. The day goes by like that. He gets to know the new environment and become comfortable with it and its people and all in all it’s great. His mind though can’t help but go back to the moment he saw him. Same undercut, same height, same built and there was no denying the power he emitted still.

And Eren was helplessly drawn to it once again.

Once Levi had told him that he was a force of nature, but if that was true then Levi was born to defy it, to defy everything and all and rise brighter. Levi may have told him that he was the sun once but there was no denying that the man himself was an entire galaxy.

His heart clenches again.

He snaps out of it as he is handed a few papers. Petra showed him his office a few hours ago and now he is starting to get accustomed to the job. It is fairly easy and if he’s honest, he has always been really good at economics.

“You need to look over these before you start for real. These documents contain the company’s economic progress of the years since its creation and they will help you greatly in the future, trust me.” The redhead told him. “now though, is time for us to go home and for you to take them with you. And don’t forget, 9 am tomorrow morning I’ll be here, expecting you.” She exclaims and he looks at the clock. It’s already eight o’clock and he’s kind of taken aback by how fast time has flown. He turns his attention back to her and takes the papers in his hands, sitting up.

“Thank you. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight!” and with that he’s out of his office, heading towards the huge glass door separating them from the cold.

Once he’s out, a strong wind ruffles his hair and makes him shiver. He really should have thought to bring a jacket with him. He starts walking towards his apartment, his hands coming up to rub his forearms and occasionally grip at his shirt.

The city, he notes, is beautiful at night. The road is lighted by the lamps on each side of it, giving off a soft glow and the moon above him adds to the symphony. It is quiet and calm and he takes a deep breath. He feels something cold connect with his hand so he brings it up to look at it, only to find nothing there. He looks up then and sees the white snowflakes dance above him, slowly falling all around him.

He lets one smile slip and sticks his tongue out like he’s a little kid again, to eat one.

_“That’s disgusting. Do you have any idea how many bacteria are in there?”_

_“Oh come on you grumpy old cat, you’re acting as if you don’t know we’re going to die from far more terrible things than a few snowflakes.”_

_“I don’t need to step into my grave earlier because of all that white shit either, Eren.”_

_“Now you’re just being overdramatic.” He laughed and kissed his nose lightly. And despite the growl he let out, there was a small smile playing on Levi’s lips._

Eren opens his eyes, still overwhelmed with the memory, and looks at the black sky.

It does take him a while to get home after that. He gets in and places the keys on the table, a sigh on his lips. He feels his pocket vibrate suddenly and he takes out his phone, to see Armin’s face pop up. Eren answers the call and Armin is almost too enthusiastic.

“So? How did it go?” Eren can practically imagine him bouncing around. He chuckles lightly, hiding the fact that his mind is a mess at the moment.

“It was really good, Armin, I like it there. Thanks.” There’s a genuine laugh from the other side of the line.

“Told you I knew this one would be just right.”

“You sure did! I gotta go to sleep, though now. I work tomorrow.”

“Right, right. Goodnight, Eren.”

“Goodnight.”

As soon as the phone call ends, he collapses against the wall. He squeezes his eyes shut and lets his phone slip from his fingers. How did he get himself into this mess?

Everything feels numb, every limb of his body, every beat of his heart.

It hurts. It hurts being so close yet so far away. It hurts knowing he is there and not being able to reach out because Levi simply _doesn’t know him._

The pent-up emotions come to choke him and claw at his throat and he lets out a faint cry as he curls into himself and finally lets the sobs wreck his body.

Fate, he decides, is a cruel, cruel thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really really really really hope this wasn't bad. And I knoooow, I'm a horrible person but please leave a comment? Haha, til next time my dudes!


End file.
